The First Move
We have so many excuses for it, among them we say, “The guy is supposed to make the first move” or, “Girls are not supposed to hit on guys” or, “If he is really interested, he would come talk to me” or, my personal favorite, “I am too hot to be the one making the first move, they need to come to me.” Too many times women have lost opportunities because they refuse to make the first move. Women cannot keep wasting time on archaic ways of thinking. Ladies, I think it is time to take charge of our lives; it’s time for a dating revolution. I mean, really, what are we so afraid of?
Women have come a long way over the years. From covering up, to strutting our stuff, we are in the game, whether we are trying or not. Women have a way of seducing men without even trying. Think about it. We get up extra early to do our make up or our hair; we put extra care into what we wear and how we smell. For us to be seduced, men need to work at it, but for women it is second nature; we don’t even need to try that hard. You think you are doing all that preparation for yourself, but deep down inside you know why you want to look good. It’s instinct, second nature, but don’t feel bad because men do it too. We all do it. So if you know you have caught someone’s attention, why not go up to him and say hi?
A friend told me that “girls are not supposed to make the first move” but I say, ‘why not?’ Guys can be shy too. Besides, sometimes we tend to give off the wrong signals about ourselves without even noticing. You may be the sweetest most loving and beautiful girl in the world but you may be giving off signals that are saying the complete opposite about you. I know that you are thinking ‘well if a guy really likes you he would have the guts to come talk to you’ but think of it this way, a guy has a bigger chance of being rejected from a girl than a girl does from a guy. Analyze yourself, if a guy sits next to you and starts talking to you, you will take one look at him and immediately form a judgment. Then you will automatically assume he is hitting on, ‘why else would he be talking to you’ and even if you don’t assume it, the thought enters your head. Finally based on that first judgment you have and on the short words you exchanged you will decide if he is worth your time or if you will blow him off. Women are vicious this way because, whether he is or he isn’t interested, we automatically assume the guy is hitting on us.
Men don’t quite see it that way. When girls make the first move it is not a, “Hey baby, what’s up?”, “You are looking good,” type of seduction. It’s more subtle. Don’t get me wrong, some girls are more aggressive than others and, if you can get away with it, then more power to you, but, for the most part, when women make the first move it’s more subtle. It takes technique and finesse. Girls usually tend to ‘just talk’; we try to get to know the person as if we were getting to know a new friend. And this is how it should be. Don’t go to talk to a guy with expectations, just try to make a new friend. This is how people form relationships, by forming a connection. Don’t let the thought of making the first move scare you because, when you ‘just talk’, you wont be letting him know you like him or that you find him attractive, you are just getting to know the person and if it turns out that you don’t connect, at least you have just made a new friend.
Guys are usually clueless when it comes to girls making the first move. So chances are that he won’t even realize what you are doing and in the off chance that you end up liking him you can throw him some little hints to let him know. If he is interested he will let you know either way; so, all you’ll need to do is open the doors little by little. Of course, there is a chance that he might just see you as a friend, but don’t take this as rejection because it isn’t. It is just a friend valuing the friendship he has with you. However, if you both get to know each other and connect, then you have initiated the base to a new relationship.
Sometimes it’s good to bend the ‘rules’ of romance to get what you want. Remember that even confident guys are cautious about making the first move. Sometimes they need help and there is nothing wrong with girls hitting on guys. In fact, some guys like that because it emanates confidence, self worth and respect. Also, some guys like it when a girl takes charge, not bossy (nobody likes a bossy man or woman), but strong and assured. It is time to let go of your fears and to take charge of your love lives not just wait for some guy to fall out of the sky.
Ana “The Guru”
LWC
Women have come a long way over the years. From covering up, to strutting our stuff, we are in the game, whether we are trying or not. Women have a way of seducing men without even trying. Think about it. We get up extra early to do our make up or our hair; we put extra care into what we wear and how we smell. For us to be seduced, men need to work at it, but for women it is second nature; we don’t even need to try that hard. You think you are doing all that preparation for yourself, but deep down inside you know why you want to look good. It’s instinct, second nature, but don’t feel bad because men do it too. We all do it. So if you know you have caught someone’s attention, why not go up to him and say hi?
A friend told me that “girls are not supposed to make the first move” but I say, ‘why not?’ Guys can be shy too. Besides, sometimes we tend to give off the wrong signals about ourselves without even noticing. You may be the sweetest most loving and beautiful girl in the world but you may be giving off signals that are saying the complete opposite about you. I know that you are thinking ‘well if a guy really likes you he would have the guts to come talk to you’ but think of it this way, a guy has a bigger chance of being rejected from a girl than a girl does from a guy. Analyze yourself, if a guy sits next to you and starts talking to you, you will take one look at him and immediately form a judgment. Then you will automatically assume he is hitting on, ‘why else would he be talking to you’ and even if you don’t assume it, the thought enters your head. Finally based on that first judgment you have and on the short words you exchanged you will decide if he is worth your time or if you will blow him off. Women are vicious this way because, whether he is or he isn’t interested, we automatically assume the guy is hitting on us.
Men don’t quite see it that way. When girls make the first move it is not a, “Hey baby, what’s up?”, “You are looking good,” type of seduction. It’s more subtle. Don’t get me wrong, some girls are more aggressive than others and, if you can get away with it, then more power to you, but, for the most part, when women make the first move it’s more subtle. It takes technique and finesse. Girls usually tend to ‘just talk’; we try to get to know the person as if we were getting to know a new friend. And this is how it should be. Don’t go to talk to a guy with expectations, just try to make a new friend. This is how people form relationships, by forming a connection. Don’t let the thought of making the first move scare you because, when you ‘just talk’, you wont be letting him know you like him or that you find him attractive, you are just getting to know the person and if it turns out that you don’t connect, at least you have just made a new friend.
Guys are usually clueless when it comes to girls making the first move. So chances are that he won’t even realize what you are doing and in the off chance that you end up liking him you can throw him some little hints to let him know. If he is interested he will let you know either way; so, all you’ll need to do is open the doors little by little. Of course, there is a chance that he might just see you as a friend, but don’t take this as rejection because it isn’t. It is just a friend valuing the friendship he has with you. However, if you both get to know each other and connect, then you have initiated the base to a new relationship.
Sometimes it’s good to bend the ‘rules’ of romance to get what you want. Remember that even confident guys are cautious about making the first move. Sometimes they need help and there is nothing wrong with girls hitting on guys. In fact, some guys like that because it emanates confidence, self worth and respect. Also, some guys like it when a girl takes charge, not bossy (nobody likes a bossy man or woman), but strong and assured. It is time to let go of your fears and to take charge of your love lives not just wait for some guy to fall out of the sky.
Ana “The Guru”
LWC
posted by anbiator @ 12:25 PM
