Mr. Perfect and Mr. Right
“Mr. Perfect: tall, dark, handsome with a smile that makes you turn wild. He is kind and gentile; he loves children and animals; he is an incredible dancer and loves me for who I am; …” When I was younger I used to keep a box of prayers in which I put my prayer for the “perfect man”. Looking down the list made me realize that, (1) my taste hasn’t really changed much in the past five years and (2) that I have very high expectations. I have approximately 70 qualities on my list that describes my “perfect man” physically but mostly emotionally. Seventy qualities is a lot but, in reality, we probably have a lot more standards by which we hold people. The problem is that, when it comes to that special someone, “PERFECT” is an incredibly high standard. Perfect means flawless, being without defect, being without anything wrong. Though many men and women keep in mind that people are anything but perfect, we all still thirst to find that “perfect” someone and end up being disappointed because Mr. Perfect is an illusion. Looking for perfection gets us into a lot of trouble and a lot of heartache. It’s not ok to settle but it’s not ok to set our relationships for failure.
Many women today are skeptics; they look at any man and almost immediately find “something wrong”. They think, “Oh, well he was too short! Girl you know me. I got a height requirement. If he is not 4 inches taller than me, it’s not going to happen.” Too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too dark, too light, too pretty, too ugly, too sensitive, too macho, too funny, too serious, too religious, too needy, too much! Give the poor guy a chance. Men have many dimensions and many layers, but you need to take the time to go through them. Sometimes you can find the most amazing relationships in the people you least expect to. Finding something wrong in someone else is very easy because they are not “perfect”---nobody is. The true challenge or adventure is finding something to hold on to, looking beyond the flaws and finding that connection that we all long for. Sometimes we need to really savor the dish in order to gets its true flavor. Nobody said love was easy!
Reality check: You are NOT perfect! How can you expect perfection from someone else when you are not perfect yourself? You are also “too this or too that” sometimes. It’s ok if you don’t check off all the qualities on your list because, as Hugh Grant said to Sandra Bullock in the movie Two Weeks Notice, “Perfect is BORING!” You need flaws or differences in order to learn from each other, to keep it real, to spice it up and to remind us that we a all different and that we need to compromise. When you add hot sauce to a taco, it may hurt your tongue a bit, but it sure gives it one heck of a kick!
They key quality in my “Mr. Perfect” profile list is “loves me for me”. We all want someone that loves us for who we are but, the catchy part is loving them for who they are. This is where “Mr. Right” comes along to take us home from la-la land. Mr. Perfect is an illusion, a man that cannot humanly exist except for in our heads. However, Mr. Right is someone that we love beyond the flaws and who loves us the same. Mr. Right will have some of the qualities but he will always find some way to challenge you every day. Mr. Right is the reality; the special man who is right for you; whose love will evolve and grow as you both grow and mature with age and life experience.
Love also has many layers and stages. Sometimes you can only break the surface, which is why some relationships are short, but sometimes you can find something deeper that you can take with you through the different stages of your life and it grows and evolves with you along the way. Love changes and evolves into new forms every day you live, which is why we cannot fixate our relationships or our partners into one image, memory or sentiment. Always keep in mind who your Mr. Right is and what makes him that and don’t confuse him with an image or standard that is unrealistic. Remember, Mr. Perfect does not equal Mr. Right; otherwise, you will always have them fighting for your love.
Ana "The Guru"
LWC
Many women today are skeptics; they look at any man and almost immediately find “something wrong”. They think, “Oh, well he was too short! Girl you know me. I got a height requirement. If he is not 4 inches taller than me, it’s not going to happen.” Too tall, too short, too fat, too skinny, too dark, too light, too pretty, too ugly, too sensitive, too macho, too funny, too serious, too religious, too needy, too much! Give the poor guy a chance. Men have many dimensions and many layers, but you need to take the time to go through them. Sometimes you can find the most amazing relationships in the people you least expect to. Finding something wrong in someone else is very easy because they are not “perfect”---nobody is. The true challenge or adventure is finding something to hold on to, looking beyond the flaws and finding that connection that we all long for. Sometimes we need to really savor the dish in order to gets its true flavor. Nobody said love was easy!
Reality check: You are NOT perfect! How can you expect perfection from someone else when you are not perfect yourself? You are also “too this or too that” sometimes. It’s ok if you don’t check off all the qualities on your list because, as Hugh Grant said to Sandra Bullock in the movie Two Weeks Notice, “Perfect is BORING!” You need flaws or differences in order to learn from each other, to keep it real, to spice it up and to remind us that we a all different and that we need to compromise. When you add hot sauce to a taco, it may hurt your tongue a bit, but it sure gives it one heck of a kick!
They key quality in my “Mr. Perfect” profile list is “loves me for me”. We all want someone that loves us for who we are but, the catchy part is loving them for who they are. This is where “Mr. Right” comes along to take us home from la-la land. Mr. Perfect is an illusion, a man that cannot humanly exist except for in our heads. However, Mr. Right is someone that we love beyond the flaws and who loves us the same. Mr. Right will have some of the qualities but he will always find some way to challenge you every day. Mr. Right is the reality; the special man who is right for you; whose love will evolve and grow as you both grow and mature with age and life experience.
Love also has many layers and stages. Sometimes you can only break the surface, which is why some relationships are short, but sometimes you can find something deeper that you can take with you through the different stages of your life and it grows and evolves with you along the way. Love changes and evolves into new forms every day you live, which is why we cannot fixate our relationships or our partners into one image, memory or sentiment. Always keep in mind who your Mr. Right is and what makes him that and don’t confuse him with an image or standard that is unrealistic. Remember, Mr. Perfect does not equal Mr. Right; otherwise, you will always have them fighting for your love.
Ana "The Guru"
LWC
posted by anbiator @ 11:25 PM
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